My wife and I have sex once a day at least. However I do not say this casually but to reinforce the importance of this facet of our lives, which we consider quite normal, and to reinforce the fact that sex 5 or 6 times a year is not what we would want. Others may be happy with this but as Taken In Hand relationship we would be going crazy.

No person should be afraid to reflect upon the dynamics of their relationship and act accordingly.

I have recently come to appreciate much more than I ever did how lucky I am to be married to my husband. As long as I have known him, more than anything else, he has always wanted me to be happy.

On our honeymoon, I remember how he was always asking me what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, and if I so much as glanced at anything in a shop he would ask me if I wanted it, even though I had plenty of money of my own at that time. And he's always been the same, even though I've frequently driven him round the bend, he has always wanted me to have everything I wanted and to do everything that I've wanted to do.

He has always been more anxious to please me than I have been to please him, and I have taken advantage of this fact. To be honest, I still do, though these days I try harder to consider what he wants rather than just thinking about what I want. For instance, a few months ago, in response to my own anxieties about running up excessive credit card bills etc., he imposed a ban on me buying anything non-essential without asking him first (naturally, this does not include books, which my husband quite understands are essentials as far as I am concerned). In practice, though, he has never actually said ‘no’ when I've asked him if I could buy anything, and I doubt if he actually ever would. I have toyed with the idea of testing this by asking if I could buy something outrageously expensive (“Darling, there's this wonderful Faberge egg on eBay”), but I feel that he would probably suspect that I was taking the Mickey, and respond accordingly.

Because he is so attuned to thinking about what I want, even my infrequent attempts to consider his tastes rather than my own have generally been unsuccessful. The curtain incident always comes to mind. A few years ago he decided we needed to get new curtains for the living room, and I was looking through a catalogue when I found some I fell in love with instantly. They were designed by an Australian Aboriginal artist and the patterns were based on Aboriginal Dreamtime art, fantastic bold patterns in bright contrasting colours, I absolutely adored them but I knew my husband, whose tastes in interior decoration are considerably more conservative than mine, would hate them. So when he asked me if I'd seen any I liked, I pointed out a couple of more conventional designs that I thought he might approve.

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